Wednesday, April 29, 2020

5/4 Forgiveness and Emotional-Cognitive Evolution




Texts for this class

1. Toru Sato, The Ever-Transcending Spirit, pp. 77-99.

  (and A Course in Miracles)





Gnostic Ethics, Restorative Justice, Forgiveness & Interbeing

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

1. The Meaning of Forgiveness as a Spiritual Path and Method for Philosophical Liberation
“The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.” Each human being is a strand in an interconnected web of relationships (an expression of Love) which perceives itself as separate and autonomous (an Ego, a holographic ball of fear). 
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2. Two basic emotions of Love versus Fear, corresponding to two systems of thought, two perceptions of reality (fear-based view that we are all separate from each other versus the love-based view that we are all One.) The Ego is sustained by fear, and is dissolved by love, oneness, the fading of the illusion of separation.

3. The Ego - Principle of Self-denial or Self-hatred, NOT the principle of self-love. An image which replaces, and needs to suppress our awareness of, our true Self. “The ego is the mind’s belief that it is completely on its own.” “The ego is certain that love is dangerous, and this is always its central teaching.” “The ego literally lives by comparisons. Equality is beyond its grasp. The ego never gives out of abundance, because it was made as a substitute for it.” Narcissism as a form of self-hatred. 

4. Your Ego can only control you if you listen to it (as still invested in it.) “The distractions of the ego may seem to interfere with your learning, but the ego has no power to distract you unless you give it the power to do so. 2 The ego's voice is an hallucination. 3 You cannot expect it to say "I am not real." 4 Yet you are not asked to dispel your hallucinations alone. 5 You are merely asked to evaluate them in terms of their results to you. 6 If you do not want them on the basis of loss of peace, they will be removed from your mind for you.

5. Connection to Indigenous Wisdom / Mitákuye Oyás’iŋ (All Are Related) - Lakota prayer. 
Are we separate from each other or are we inter-related and inter-connected? The concept of interrelatedness is key to understanding why needs, roles and obligations are so essential to restorative justice. “In this worldview, the problem of crime - and wrongdoing in general - is that it represents a wound in the community, a tear in the web of relationships. Crime represents damaged relationships. In fact, damaged relationships are both a cause and an effect of a crime. Many traditions have a saying that a harm to one is a harm to all.”

6. Connection to Buddhism: Basic Goodness as a Positive Core Belief (from the Prison Mindfulness Institute’s Path to Freedom)
1. Below our conditioning (habits, patterns, behaviors) is a ground of being that is unconditionally good.
2. When we don’t feel a connection to this, then struggles and problems are all we know.
3. Through meditation we develop an experiential relationship to our own basic goodness and basic ok-ness.
4. Everyone has experienced this - if even for just a few moments. A time when our mind stopped and we connected to something wonderful in life.
5. In that moment, there is a deep sense that “I am okay, Life is okay.”

7. Political Implications: Restorative Justice  
Based on an old, commonsense view of wrongdoing as a violation of people and interpersonal relationships. All indigenous cultures use restorative practices, as do many families. Whereas criminal justice sees humans as separate, autonomous beings, restorative justice sees individuals as part of an interconnected web of relationships. People who are harmed are centered in terms of their harm being seen and valued and addressed, bystanders are called in to encircle the person, the person who harmed is called in to take accountability for what was done.

Criminal Justice
Restorative Justice
Crime is a violation of the law and state
Crime is a violation of people and relationships
Violations create guilt
Violations create obligations
Justice requires the state to determine blame (guilt) and impose pain (punishment)
Justice involves victims, offenders, and community members in an effort to repair the harm and ‘put things right’
Central focus: offenders getting what they deserve.
Central focus: victim needs and offender responsibility for repairing harm.

8. Forgiveness Practice (The Six Steps to Freedom derived from the Choose Again model, as created by Diederik Wolsak 

1. I am upset. Step 1 in the conflict/upset resolution dance is to acknowledge, own, that I am in conflict or upset. The conflict serves a purpose and will lead to a joining if resolved.

2. It is about me. The conflict is not about the other person. (In comes the little voice, “yea, right” ). The conflict is never about anyone but me. Trust this step even if you don’t believe it yet. Without this step, peace and joining will not happen. It is about me. Ok, ok, so it’s about me. I know that blaming anyone for the conflict will not get me what I really want and that is: to be happy.

3. Feel the feeling. How do I feel? It is surprising to see how hard it is to really know how I am feeling. This is where commitment to honesty is essential. I have to know how I feel in order to go to:

4. Remember when I felt this way before. How is that feeling familiar? Now I have to become a detective. I am looking for the source of this feeling. When did I first feel this way? Go back as far as I can in my memory. And after a little searching I’ll remember an incident when someone said or did something that made me feel that way. Now follows:

5. Establish what my judgement of myself was in that moment? What was my perception? How did  I interpret the situation? What was my judgment of myself in that situation? What did it say about me that that person acted or spoke that way? I’m not important. I’m not supported. I’m ignored. I’m not heard. I’m inadequate. What kind of person deserves to feel this way?

6. Embrace the Truth about me. Now I must shift my old perception. Who was the “i” that made that judgement about myself in that moment (eg.- I’m ignored)? Was it the real “I” or the false “i”? If it was the false “I”, the conclusion I made about myself in that moment was also false. My judgment of myself in that moment was wrong. It said nothing about me. Whatever happened way back when was not about me. Who I am is unchanged and unchangeable. The belief I formed about who I am is wrong and doesn’t serve me. It is easy to forgive myself for believing a falsity about myself.  “Forgive me for believing I was _______. 
Forgive me for believing I am ______.” You name it; most of us have at least one of more of these limiting beliefs. So there it is. Now, I’M FREE.

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 Presentation on the Extended Mind